English : You will be pleased with me today, mother, said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. I saved on fares. I didn...
English : Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl. 中文 : 你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？老师发问道。 把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就...
题目 ： 1、Why can fish only live in water? 2、What can you swallow that can swallow you? 3、If there were four flies on the table and I killed one,how many would be left? 4、What table has no legs? 答案 ： 1.Cats can...
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over. Why on earth were you driving so fast？ the policeman yelled. Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident！ 超速的理由 哈里与劳...
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I...
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot. Why use my elbow and foot?...
English : There was a lady from the countryside who came to the city and checked into a hotel. Then she said to the bellman, I refuse to take a tiny room like this, with no window and no bed in it! You can...
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back? To which the farmer replied: Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf! 在一个乡村路上，一警察让这个...
One of four people are mentally ill. 每4个人里就有一个人有精神方面的疾...
Burglars tried to break into an electronics retailer three times - only to find they...
There is one holiday in the year which is completely American, Thanksgiving Day. It is the day when everyone goes back home to spend the day with his family, to have the traditional Thanksgiving dinner of roast turkey, to talk about old ti...
A daughter came home and asked, Daddy, can you write in the dark? Her father said, I think so; what do you want me to write? Oh, just your name on this report card! 一个小女孩回家以后问爸爸说：您可以在黑暗中写字吗？ 爸...
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. They...
Student A: When do people talk least? Student B: In February. Student A: Why? Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year. 人们什么时候说话最少？ 学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少？ 学生乙：在二月...
English: At the traffic fine office, the police handed a motorist a receipt for his traffic fine. The motorist must have been fined for speeding. He grumbled, What am I supposed to do with this? The clerk advised him, Keep it. When you get...
A herdsman tending his flock in a forest lost a Bull-calf from the fold. After a long and fruitless search, he made a vow that, if he could only discover the thief who had stolen the Calf, he would offer a lamb in sacrifice to Hermes, Pan,...
English: A man is walking by an insane asylum and hears all the residents chanting, Thirteen! Thirteen! Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence, looks in and someone pokes him in the eye. Everyone in the asylum starts ch...
English: A Farmer one day came to the stables to see to his beasts of burden: among them was his favorite donkey that was always well fed and often carried his master. With the Farmer came his Lapdog, who danced about and licked his hand a...
ENGLISH: Who Is Talking An army general telephoned to his unit in another place wanting to speak to someone. He said, Hello! There was a soldier, playing like a sergeant or something, at the other end of the line. He didn...
罗马是怎么样建成的，中文的一定看过了吧。 English: Teacher: When was Rome built? Tom: At night. Teacher: Who told you that? Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn...
Kid and wolf A Kid was perched up on the top of a horse, and looking down saw a Wolf passing under him. Immediately he began to revile and attack his enemy. Murderer and thief, he cried what do you here near honest folks, horses? How dare...
English: One American came to Russia to have a look and visit. And there he saw all the secret police, and the people were scared and didn...
The nice women are ugly. (好女人不漂亮) The beautiful women are not nice. (漂亮女人不好) The beautiful and nice women are stupid in general. (又漂亮又好的女人一般都很愚蠢) The beautiful, nice and clever women are ma...
An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks,What＇s your problem, Sol dier？Chronic syphilis,Sir！What treatment are you get ting？Five minutes with the wire brush each day,Sir！What＇s your ambition？To ge...
One should love anim als. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。 Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And b...
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man...
Flowers need water, said the teacher. Water your flowers every day, or they...
English : A child aged seven or eight by the name of Ah Da ran hastily to the police station and told a policeman, Please come quickly! A man is at my house beating up my father; he is dying! The policemen therefore rushed to the scene wit...
All the kids make fun of me, the boy cried to his mother. They say I have a big head. Don...
English : The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates becauseevery weekend on Visitors Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always satalone in his cell. So one Visitors Day, the w...