A mother is admonishing her son. _Now, John, don...
Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came...
A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn...
Larry! Come here! said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, Ive just had a call from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. You wretched, rude boy! I was nice to her, Mum, really I was! pr...
One day when women...
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hand...
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son, Tom, because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthd...
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you? Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window. Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?...
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John...
A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders. The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry t...
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn...
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. What...
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead. said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his h...
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn...
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn...
Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog...
In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, What kind of bird do you like best, Jack? Jack thought a moment, then answered, Fried chicken, sir. 老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的...
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents...
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are! Yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is onlythe mother and the children. Where is the father? The elder b...
person with six children or a person with $6 million? Why? The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more. 一个有六个孩子的人和一个有600万美元的人，谁更满足？为什么？ 当然是有...
A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that shed like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces shed like to have it cut into: six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I dont think I could ever eat twel...
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. Please God, she said, Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy. Her mother interrupted and said, Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy? And Julie repl...
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I...
Jane loved Tony , but she worried about all the money he squandered when they went out together. How can I stop Tony spending so much money on me? She asked her mother. Marry him! 简很爱托尼，但是当他们一起出去的时候，托尼...
When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. Since I...
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their...
Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town． Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb． Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial． The hearse was an old ramshackl...
A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard． They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain， so they were soon very wet， and the small...
A poor man， presenting himself before the King of Spain，asked his charity， telling him that he was his brother． Theking desiring to know how he claimed kindred to him， the poorfellow replied，We are all descended from one common f...
At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones. To sit next to you, he re...