A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? The father replied: I don...
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest...
Holding a baby in her arms, a woman visited a gynecologist. Is the baby * fed or is he on bottle? asked the doctor. * fed, of course! replied the woman. Take off your clothes, please. the doctor ordered. What? ...But why? Don...
Hoping to excite student interest in our reading center, I asked each teacher to write a New Year...
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: That...
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. It...
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are! Yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father? The elder...
You can...
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: Wake up, sir! I wasn...
Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.Anything else? The nurse asked. Yes,Jack thinks for a while and said,I...
Excuse me,but the seat you...
One day,Eve asked Adam,Doyou really love me? Adam said helplessly,Do I have any other choice? 别无选择 一天，夏娃问亚当：你当真爱我吗？ 亚当无可奈何地回答：我还有的选择吗？...
I had an operation, said a man to his friend, and the doctor left a sponge in me. Thats terrible! said the friend. Got any pain? No, but I am always thirsty! 总感到口渴 一个男人对他的朋友说：我动了一次手术，手术后医...
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water? Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad. Father: Whats that got to do with it? Jack: I forgot to wash the apple. 一个有效的方法 爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？ 杰克：我刚才...
Kate: Mom, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday? Mom: No, Honey, what? Kate: A nice teapot。 Mom: But Ive got a nice teapot. Kate: No, you havent. Ive just dropped it. 凯特的礼物 凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你...
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead. said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his h...
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Dont you know you are wasting time? Jack: Yes, Dad. But Ive saved you a meal, haven I? 浪费还是节约 父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪...
Dentist: Please stop howling. I havent even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot! 他为什么喊 牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。 病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚...
Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later,...
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinnyman said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his...
Dentist: I...
Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn...
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, Go home and get the umbrella. The little turtle replied, I will, if you don...
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born. Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday. 重大事件 老师：1809年发生了什么重大...
One day, a man named Ai Zi said to the rich man, Your sons are so stupidand know nothing about the world. How can they take your property over after your death? Hearing these words, the rich man became a little bit angry. The father said,...
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first da...
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic. Here is the situation, she said. a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin g for help....
Professor: When is your birthday? Kid: May 30. Professor: Which year? Kid: Every year. 教授：你的生日是什么时候？ 孩子：5月30日。 教授：哪一年？ 孩子：每年都是。...
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。...
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see...