A bull wrestler was visiting his friend in a small town, and one night they stayed a little too long at the pub. Not wanting to drive, they decided to walk home. As they were crossing a farmer's field, a bull charged them. The wrestler grab...
I had been trying to get my friend Mike-a rock' n roll fan-interested in classical music. When I offered to purchase tickets to a Mozart festival, he willingly agreed to accompany me and seemed to enjoy the symphony. After the concert, I me...
I teach computer courses, and my students often call me at home with questions. One morning I was on the phone, explaining in computer language the solution to a problem, while a repairman was fixing my refrigerator. After an endless stream...
My husband and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our children about our working days. It wasn't clear how much they absorbed until one day I overheard my seven-year- old, Lucy, cry out in frustration at her five...
I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age." Overhearing this,...
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside whe...
During a visit to my mother' s home, I joined her in the living room to talk, read and watch television. Facing a bookcase that has been in the same spot since I was a child, I let my eyes wander over the familiar volumes, many of which now...
A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn . "If you don't back up," said the...
The owner of a small travel agency saw an attractive couple gazing at his travel poster. Suddenly inspired, he ran up and told them his idea. "I'll give you an all-expenses-paid vacation in exchange for appearing in ads endorsing my agency....
Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour ,it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I...
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sittin...
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard. "Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying. "He says he wants some ketchup," my husb...
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about. "How old are these bones?" the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide. "Exactly one hundred million and three years old. "How can y...
"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased. "You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing...
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you c...
A short young man was running behind a bus which was full of passengers. But the bus still ran at a great speed. "Stop, stop, " a passenger looked out of the window, and shouted at the young man, "you can't catch it ! " "I must," the young...
Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man...
A mother is very good at using every chance to educate his son, who was only three years old. One day, she took a plug and said to her son, " Look, there are two pieces of copper, so it must be plugged in a place where there are two holes....
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the...
Deciding to do some back-yard landscaping, my father-in-law went to the brickyard to buy quantity of brick. When he asked the salesclerk about the cost, the man replied. "The more you buy, the cheaper they are." "'is that so?" said my fathe...
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man. After the servant gave the note to th...
The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?" "I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on...
Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays. He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper "Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food,...
A husband said to his wife, " Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?" "Well," his wife answered at once." The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them." Not...
Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay." " I' m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I'll go in and ask for that job." He went into the building and spoke to the mana...
A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head." "Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes." "Where is...
One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach...
Peter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: 1, You and She. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said," I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your c...
The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish. One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?" The wife said, "You may select the dish today." The husband was very glad and asked, "Whi...
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch. A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle...